I do get really tired of all of the romanticization of mental illness
and especially of depression, because it’s like, depression is, I feel, my BIGGEST OBSTACLE to productivity and creative self-expression.
Like, if I had to write a song while in a depressive episode, it would go:
I’m not getting up
I’m not getting up
fuck you
I’m not getting up
that’s my song.
And certainly, mental illness has/does inform a lot of my work, and I take a certain amount of pride in that, because I can. But it is a constant struggle and negotiation.
the worst part of it is that people have been asking me lately if i’m done hose papers, or if i know what jobs i want, or when i’m coming back to school.. ugh.